Controversial writer and fairly unskilled artist Gail Simone has stunned many with what some of her detractors considered the impossible: she’s going to be performing an act of personal charity.
To benefit the St. Baldric’s cancer research fund-raising organization, Simone agreed to shave her head at SDCC this Saturday, provided the industry rallied around her cause and helped raise $10,000.
The $10,000 sum was raised within minutes, far faster than even a Kickstarter RPG based on the life of Neil Gaiman.
Donations came from across the industry.
“I wrote an insane Hal Jordan in one of the most controversial Green Lantern stories of all time. So what does she do in response? She starts a meme about some victim I dumped in a fridge. Almost two decades later, when people think comic book misogyny, they still think of me,” commented former Sojourn editor Ron Marz.
“I’ve never met her, but it sounded like a great cause to support,” lied noted Mormon Ethan van Sciver.
“Further proof that DC hasn’t had a fresh idea since Watchmen,” responded notorious stick-in-the-mud Alan Moore. When pressed for an explanation of the seemingly unconnected events, Moore refused to comment, leaving his horde of fanatical apologists to speculate that he was referring to Simone’s well-documented love of sharks and how DC’s Before Watchmen titles are a sign of jumping the shark.
Simone, who has a long and storied career including stints as an internet troll, hairdresser, and Rick Olney publicist, has taken the event in stride. “Right now, all I’m worried about is who I’ll use for my wig.”
One insider who chose to remain anonymous suggested the actual reason for the follicle fanaticism is an act of piety by Simone to stay in the good graces of DC Entertainment, following her years of service to the infamously unsanctioned Wonder Woman Day charity auctions, now rechristened Women of Wonder Day as Paul Levitz is no longer blocking Time Warner from cracking some litigious whip action. Regardless, we at New Comics Day applaud Simone for taking such drastic actions for such selfless reasons, whatever they may in actuality be.
Additional reporting by nilskidoo.