What began less than a month ago as a conversation at the online artist community DeviantART and quickly spread to a well-trafficked Facebook page has now grown into one of the most viewed petitions in the history of the change.org website. Less than 24 hours after the petition was launched by one Cory Knick of Austin, Texas over one million signatures have been added. The cause, for those who have not had their various inboxes inundated by requests pleading for participation, is for the enormously successful indie series made good the Walking Dead, published by Image Comics, to embrace the inevitable.
And Robert Kirkman, jovial creator of the Walking Dead, has agreed, to the joyful delight of fanboys high and low.
Beginning with issue #103 of the insanely popular ongoing comic book series, Italian great Milo Manara will be replacing Charlie Adlard on interior line art, while fan-favorite Adam Hughes will be taking over art chores for the covers, all in keeping with “the new way”.
At approximately 0800 PM Eastern yesterday, Kirkman, seated on a throne of unsold copies of Battle Pope, the Astounding Wolfman, and Brit, gave a live tele-conference to explain his decision. “The fans have made their voices clear, and papa bear aims to please,” said the friendly writer through a slight Kentucky drawl. “As of the 103 issue, those who want more T and A will be getting a whole lot more T and A. Every other comic book being published today by large publishers and small over-sexualize their female characters, while we have made the miscalculation in under-sexualizing our female characters. The stereotype of the average male comic book fan being, at the best a little pervert and at the worst, a potential rapist, exists for a reason. If most fans knew how to talk to girls they wouldn’t be spending potential date money on funny books- not in these trying times. Equally, it’s become pretty apparent that many from the geek girl community are not actually reading comics, as they’re clearly faking interest for cheap personal gratification to be received from cosplaying around painfully lonely fanboys eager for even a moment of smalltalk at a ComicCon with which to stock up on mental spank material for later. These Camille Paglia-styled geek girls are just trying to prove something to their respective father figures, and the fanboys just want to get their rocks off. That is the way it’s always been, and I was arrogant to think I could tease my readers so long, as obviously in life or death situations like those in my series, it’s only a matter of time before things get all hot and heavy, what with all of the adrenaline pumping away. And now, that will happen.”
The bulk of the issue in question will apparently explore the problem of no running water for the characters on the road, so popular sexpots-to-be Andrea, Maggie, and Michonne will be forced to give each other excruciatingly long, sensual sponge baths in a secluded creak way out in the woods. What happens in the following issues already has the blogosphere ablaze with heated anticipation.
“Now realistically,” continued Kirkman, “as popular as the AMC cable series has been our budget is still fairly modest, and shots of gratuitous sex are a heckuva lot cheaper than all the FX required for knock down, drag out battle scenes against herds of undead Zeds. So, if we alternate between the two my fellow producers and I feel that we can have the best of both worlds. Economically, it makes sense. I really think it will go over well- well enough to win the attention of the remaining three persons in North America not currently glued to their TV sets every Sunday night.”
“And pleasing the fanbase is what’s it’s all about, my friends.”