Longtime Marvel artist Greg Land suffered some extra controversy earlier this week, as the oft-accused swipe artist was revealed to have borrowed the entire panel by panel and page by page contents of the 1980s special release Marvel Fumetti #1 (April, 1984) in his most recent issue of the new Avenging Spider-Man. The Marvel Fumetti book, like all fumetti of course, consists entirely of photographs with word balloons, with the Marvel issue being an enjoyably goofy peak behind the mid-eighties bullpen curtain. Current Marvel bylaws however, forbid such candid disclosures due to complaints of questionable tweets flooding in after hours from half-drunk Marvel editing and production staff members.
Said Marvel Exec Joe Quesada in the latest Cup of Joe installment for a popular press release blog site, “We know Land has had more than his fair share of accusations in the past regarding the possible source materials for pretty much all of his work, and we were generally willing to look the other way because his books sell really well in the ignorant but horny teenage boy demographic. But this time he just went way too far. I just don’t know if he was flaunting it or if he actually thought nobody would notice this particular time. I tried to skype him but apparently the dude is scared to even own a computer in case he runs into any of the countless forum threads condemning him for being the hack supreme of all hacks. Whatever the case, Greg Land has slapped the esteemed House of Ideas in the face with this blatant show of laziness and unoriginality, and lest I go back on my word and change my mind tomorrow as I generally do I am pulling his contract and tossing it out from my seventh floor window over West 50th street as I speak, the rat bastard!”
New Comics Day succeeded in speaking with the ever-calm Greg Land via carrier pigeon, and the popular artist responded, “Yea I guess I was lazy drawing Terry Austin’s Inker Dinker Doo segment with old-time Timely characters Ziggy Pig and Silly Seal in as background staffers at the Daily Bugle, but it was a HOMAGE- I swear to God it was just a homage. And who says Ben Uhrich does not look like Ziggy Pig anyhow? But all that’s water under the bridge now, BLUE water under the bridge in fact, as I’m stoked to announce that as of this morning BlueWater Productions have signed me on for a new lifetime contract.”
The New Comics Day carrier pigeon then skyped up BlueWater’s new Director of Marketing and Promotions Rob Granito, who replied “Darren Davis and the BlueWater team are freaking ecstatic to score Land and look forward to his tracing photographs of pseudo celebrities for our growing inventory of unauthorized biography books of pseudo celebrities. I already have him slated for a fill-in arc on our Little Monsters of BlueWater book, and then he’s gonna do a king-size special on those three blonde sluts from those cable shows that supposedly get crazy use out of Hugh Hefner’s Viagra supply. Gonna be wicked killer good, just wait and see!”
When asked for a closing statement, Quesada denied the opportunity, except to say that Disney would proudly be returning the fabled Ziggy Pig and Silly Seal characters, alongside Howard the Duck, to the Marvel 616 by way of ongoing supporting roles in the upcoming relaunch of X-Statix this Fall. The new X-Statix will be written by Zeb Wells with art outsourced to some obscure studio house in the Philippines, who will also be handling Land’s former spot in the rotation of artists on the Avenging Spider-Man title. New Comics Day will of course alert our readers to any and all breaking developments in this truly bizarre turn of events.