Following the sixth month unbirthday of the Occupy Movement, Marvel Comics has bowed to public pressure and radically re-shaped relaunch plans for X-Treme X-Men. As their teaser campaign indicated, X-Treme X-Men was set to feature the extremist of the X-Treme X-Men, the metaphorical 1% of Marvel’s mutants.
The mutant 1%, which statistically comprise 4% of the mutant populace, were set to star in Claremont’s relaunched X-Treme X-Men. The series would follow the X-Men on jet setting adventures to exotic island locales such as Genosha, Krakoa and Madripoor all while being extensively and shamelessly ostentatious. Throughout the title’s first 36 issue arc, they would battle various threats from amongst the 99%, the statistically 96% of the remaining mutant population without fantastic wealth. The third through fifth years would focus on Shadowcat winning the lottery and purchasing a struggling mutant baseball team, the Chicago Cubs.
Caving to public pressure, Marvel has instead replaced most of the characters with alternate reality dopplegangers from that couple of issues of Astonishing X-Men where Storm had a Mohawk and kissed Cyclops but it wasn’t really her so it’s all ok.
Due to Marvel’s contractual obligation to publish 20 or more issues of any title Claremont feels like writing, the majority of the title’s first arc have already been produced and will now be released as X-Treme X-Men Forever.
Wow, I never considered their lot in life, really. To think they have to deal with never working or job-hunting, going off around the world whenever they want while constantly being surrounded by attractive members of the opposite sex and racing about in one of a kind vehicles and having to play with high tech gadgetry that would make Steve Jobs’ nips still get hard. The poor miserable filthy rich bastards. How do they get on? I mean, living in a world that fears and hates them so?